Women's Options in Maternity Care & Birth
Informed choice for every woman's birth!
Your Birth Stories
The following birth stories depict a variety of birthing choices and outcomes. By sharing their stories with us, these women are providing important informaiton and insight into the world of childbirth!
Homebirth - Charity's Birth Story
When a baby is ill - Spencer's Birth
Surgery During Pregnancy & Premature Birth
Homebirth - Charity's Birth Story
When I found out I was pregnant my search began for a Midwife. We finally had the funds to pay the enormous cost. Noreen was my first choice for our care giver. Charity was due to come on the 28 of December 2001. We were excited to find out what it would be like to deliver at home with a midwife. Jacob was very interested in the pregnancy. I can remember countless hours spend lying on the sofa with Jacob’s small sweaty hand on my belly, just waiting for the baby to move. I remember one morning waking up to Jacob again trying to find movements from the baby. He was so fascinated with all the changes going on with me and I think he was in wonderment about what was actually happening to me. He told me that morning that he wanted to have a baby. I told him that one day he would be able to have a baby of his own, with someone he loves. He said no mom I want to have a baby in my tummy. I still chuckle about this, maybe this will be something that we will laugh about later. I knew that he would have to experience the birth with us. Martinha, I wasn’t so sure about, she got a little scared when I delivered Jacob so I thought that she would probably stay upstairs with Opa. Only time would tell.
The first of the powerful contractions woke me up at
I got off the phone just in time for another contraction and asked Dan if he could phone Noreen. He did and I moved into the living room to the coffee table. It was lower and felt much better. Plus I wanted to make sure that the video camera was working and all ready to go. Dan told Noreen that the contractions were about 5 minutes apart, we didn’t know we hadn’t been timing them. Dan joined me to get a quick lesson on how to work the video camera. Meanwhile I have to stop the lesson every couple minutes to relax through contractions. Dan realized that the contractions were less then 5 minutes apart and started to get worried that I might have the baby before Noreen gets here. He told me I will help you deliver the baby if I have to but I don’t want to so don’t have the baby yet. I laughed and told him not to worry and that I would try my best to keep it in till Noreen got here.
Dan’s Dad was living with us at the time and he woke up to go to work and was surprised to see us up at this time of the morning. He was standing in the archway to the living room, I can still remember his face when I bent back to the table to have a contraction. Complete shock, I don’t think it had sunk in that we were going to have the baby at home until that moment. He sure didn’t want to be around for it anyway and quickly got his stuff and left for work. Or maybe is was that he wanted to give us space to do what we needed to do, I don’t know but what I do know is that he sure left in a hurry.
Martinha finally woke up from all the commotion and we let her in on our surprise.
“The baby’s coming tonight!”
I move to the rocking chair and found that pretty comfortable and we waited what seemed like eternity for people to start arriving. Mom and Dad were the first to knock on the door. They came in with Tim Horton’s donuts and coffee, my Mom thought that maybe this was going to be another false alarm. Maybe I had called her too many times for the false labour, oops. The room was filled with excitement. We talked, and laughed. I felt very calm and comfortable. Nothing was out of the ordinary except the painful contractions, but they didn’t last forever and I had short breaks. I didn’t have to do anything that I didn’t want to do between them. I could talk or not talk. I didn’t have to fill out any paper work or look through my purse for my ABH card, none of that. This was all about me and what I needed to do.
Noreen arrived not long after Mom and Dad. I told Noreen what was happening and that now I would like to move to my room.
Noreen, Mom, Dan, Martinha and I all went downstairs to my bedroom and I asked if Jacob could be woke up now. I leaned over the edge of the bed and moaned when a contraction came. They were changing now and getting stronger. Noreen set up what she needed and asked me if she could check the baby’s heart beats and my blood pressure. She knew that she wouldn’t get another chance and thought it a good idea to get it over with. A few minutes later I told Noreen that I felt like pushing and got up onto the bed. Martinha went upstairs at this time to join Opa, I guess she wasn’t going to stay after all.
I pushed a few times with no change and Noreen suggested that I might have a little lip left. She asked me if she could check. I told her she could. Just that very moment I got a contraction and told her that her checking was making it worse and she stopped. I was glad that she was there on my agenda not hers. My birth My way. I told Noreen that I didn’t want to be lying on my back, I felt this wasn’t the best position for me, it was too hard I said. So Noreen suggested that I use pillows on the head board to support myself on my knees. Seeing as I didn’t want anyone close to me or touching me, nobody could help support me. (They all broke my concentration if they touched me so everyone became spectators) It felt so much better to bear down and so I continued, Dan informed me that my waters were still intact and that every time I pushed he could see it. I knew what I had to do before I could birth Charity. Finally my water broke and all of a sudden the feeling to push became stronger, I could feel her head there and so that’s what I told Noreen. “I can feel her head I have to push.” I pushed and out came her head I could feel faintly the burning but kept going anyway. Once her head was out I could feel her shoulders. “Noreen I can feel her shoulders I have to push.” I kept warning her of what I was doing to make sure she was ready for me. Out she came, so easy, so fast. At
Dan joined us on the bed, Jacob at our side, Mom video taping and Noreen watching without interruption to us. Martinha and Opa came downstairs to see their new sister, granddaughter. What is it everyone asked. I hadn’t looked yet, just fell hard in love no matter what she was. I opened her legs to find she was a girl. We had chosen a first name but hadn’t decided on a second name. Charity Ingrit she was named right then and there. It works. Twenty minutes later it was time to birth the placenta and cut the cord. Dan did the honors. Noreen checked for tearing, none what so ever, and helped me into a more comfortable position with dry pads under me.
Charity got the once over to make sure she was doing ok. She weighed in at 6lbs 15oz. and was 49 cm long. She was in a rush to nurse, crawling right up the bed to find her breast. Noreen helped me latch and I lay there and nursed her, that when the after pains started. Noreen gave me some herbs for that.
Charity got passed around for everyone to enjoy. We all moved upstairs to talk about our new family member and what was going to happen with the rest of our day. Martinha had a Christmas concert and someone needed to bring her for rehearsal. Noreen cleaned up the bed lined for us and brought her stuff to the door. She took me to the washroom to show me where Charity’s home was and asked what we wanted done with the placenta. She sat with us a while to make sure new Mom and baby were doing fine and the went home to finish her sleep. She made a few more house calls to make sure all was good within the next couple weeks.
Now after experiencing what Midwifery is about I would never even dream about having a child any other way. The experience was so empowering. I learned that I can do anything, that I’m the one in charge. Giving birth is not always tragic. It should be peaceful, wonderful, and beautiful. I felt so comfortable and happy being able to bond right away with the new edition to our family. I’m grateful that Martinha and Jacob were able to experience the birth in such ways that made them feel comfortable, that made us all feel comfortable.
Nicole
Thank you, Nicole, for sharing your beautiful birth story with us!
Born At Home
I started working as a nurse in Labour and Delivery two years before my first pregnancy. Prior to this my knowledge of birth was limited to the two deliveries I had attended as a student nurse and the “Hollywood” image of birth – you know, the writhing woman screaming profanities at her husband and doctor. I remember having a conversation with a fellow nurse, young like me with no children. After a particularly “difficult” birth on our unit our feelings were “sign me up for my C-section”. At the time, like many women I was fearful of the whole birthing process.
Over the next two years I had the opportunity to attend more than one hundred births. Some were beautiful, magical experiences and some were very difficult, where it seemed like everything just went wrong. I was fortunate to be able to work with some amazing nurses, many of whom were trained midwives. I saw the difference it made to a birthing woman to have a kind, knowledgeable, gentle nurse by her side while she was bringing her baby into the world and I got to be that nurse for many women. I also saw how stress interfered with a woman’s labour leading to a cascade of interventions.
Two years later I married the love of my life and shortly after our honeymoon I was delighted to learn that I was pregnant. I saw my favorite physician for my prenatal care – I knew it was unlikely that I would be able to choose the exact doctor that would attend my birth but I knew and trusted the other four members of her clinic, having attended deliveries with all of them.
My pregnancy was uneventful until I was 33wks pregnant when my husband and I decided to move back to the city where both our parents lived. We so wanted to be close to family when the baby came but the whole vision I had of the birth was completely shattered. The thought of going to a doctor I didn’t know and having my baby delivered by someone that I had never worked with (or even met for that matter) was terrifying for me.
One of the nurses I worked with before we moved recommended a team of midwives to me. I called them and explained my situation. They agreed to take me on as a client and we had our first meeting. Immediately I felt at ease. I was looking at the faces of the women who would deliver my baby. I could tell them what I wanted and didn’t want and they would remember and make it happen. There was no chance of a stranger showing up when I was at my most vulnerable because my midwife wasn’t on call that day.
I examined the abundant research and found that homebirth with a midwife is just as safe as a hospital birth for a low risk mother. We came up with a good emergency transfer plan and that sealed the deal. I was going to have a homebirth! I managed three visits with my midwives before my water broke, at 10:30am on December 20, two full weeks before my due date. It was a complete surprise – I was at Home Depot. I immediately called my midwife Kerstin and she asked me the questions I was expecting: “Is the fluid clear?” and “Is the baby active? “Since I wasn’t having contractions, she said she would come to my house later in the afternoon and check on the baby.
I headed home and started to wash all the baby things I would need. When Kerstin came to listen to the baby’s heartbeat I was getting nervous. It was 3:30pm and I had not had a single contraction. Kerstin was certain that I would go into labour in the wee hours of the morning, and if I hadn’t called her by the following morning, she would come and assess things again then. I spent the rest of the day arranging my “nest” for the arrival of the new baby. By bedtime, I still had not had a single contraction. I figured I had better try to sleep in case I was in for a rough night.
Well, Kerstin was right; I woke up to my very first contraction at 1am on December 21st. I had mild, irregular contractions for the next hour and a half. At 3:30 they picked up in intensity and frequency. By 4:30, despite a wonderfully relaxing shower, I was questioning my resolve to birth naturally. Though I wanted to wait until 6am (a more civilized hour) I had my husband call Kerstin. She arrived at around 5am and I was still coping but I was dreading the next six or eight hours. I felt the panic rising, I had been labouring for such a short time and I really felt like I wouldn’t be able to stay on top of the contractions for much longer. I needed to know how much my cervix had dilated. I was going to absolutely die if she checked me and I was not even four centimeters!
To say I was pleasantly surprised would be an understatement when she checked my cervix and said “there is still a bit of cervix left but you are eight or nine centimeters.” That six to eight hours shrunk down to one or two, and I thought “I can do this for that much longer!” One or two contractions later the urge to push came upon me. I pushed gently at first; then found my groove, trying many different positions; standing, squatting, hands and knees, side lying. The back-up midwife Moreen had arrived and took some awesome pictures. Then at 7:06am on December 21, my beautiful girl was gently born into this world! I was over the moon. It was the most intense, inspiring, magnificent experience of my entire life.
I realize that homebirth may not appeal to every woman but having worked within the medical model of childbirth, I believe that EVERY woman should have a midwife.
Anonymous
When a baby is ill - Spencer's Birth
My son was born at 8 am on a Sunday morningat the Royal Alex. He was stuck in the birth canal and they had to use forceps and a rather large episiotomy. However, he came out beautiful and, we thought, healthy. He nursed right after birth and all seemed well. By about 4 in the afternoon, he started to vomit. At first, the vomit was a kind of browny colour but by late that night, it turned a horrible green colour, he was refusing to eat anything else and hadn't had a poop. Being a first time mother, I felt that I wasn't nursing properly and asked for some help in that department and was told that I just needed to be patient and to keep trying.
By the next morning, when we were discharged at 9am, my ds was projectile vomiting about every 5 minutes or so and it was still the nasty green colour and he still had not had a poop of any sort. The pediatrician that the hospital assigned us came to see us and when I questioned her about it, I was told that it was because he was a forcep delivery and that didn't give him the chance to get the mucus out of his lungs. She actually patted me on the shoulder and told me that I was worrying over nothing and that she would never send me home if she thought anything was wrong. So, off we went.
The next day when the health nurse came to see us, my ds was still not eating so she told me that I had to give him formula as I obviously couldn't get the nursing right and my son was starving. We had saved all the receiving blankets to show her the vomit on them because we just thought it wasn't right but yet again, we were patronizingly told we were worrying over nothing. My sister, who works in the hospital system, came over just as the health nurse was leaving and quickly said, "that's it, we're going to emergency" so off we went to the Misericordia.
We were greeted by an extremely rude doctor who told me to "quit crying - you don't even know if there's anything wrong" as he was pushing on my ds' stomach and he was screaming in pain. He sent us upstairs to the Children's Health Clinic where we were treated by an angel by the name of Dr. Baydala. Dr. Baydala took one look at us an immediately admitted us to the hospital. Her main concern was that he hadn't yet pooped....so he was too full to eat. We stayed for a week while they ran all sorts of tests, I pumped like crazy and had to wake my ds up every 2 hours to try to get him to eat.
After 2 days of tests, Dr Baydala sat us down and said that they could do a barium enema to see why he wasn't pooping or we could first try a suppository and see if that did the trick first. We opted for the suppository and darn if it didn't work! Sure enough, once that poop came, he ate like a trooper!! Dr. Baydala kept us for 3 more days to make sure all was well and then sent us home with 3 checkups in the next week. Then......she went on holidays and everything seemed to stop again. My ds stopped eating and his belly was huge.
We went back to the Mis and they took one look at us and sent us to the Stollery. By the way, we cannot say or do enough for the Stollery.....God keeps that place close in his heart, as we do. Beside ourselves with worry, off we went to the Mis with our little 2 and a half week old. I think we were in emergency for about 3 hours when we heard someone say "Hirschsprung's Disease". They did tests for 2 days but the surgeon told me that he would bet his year's salary that Hirschsprung's was what my ds had - and he was right. Hirschsprung's Disease is where part of the bowel is missing nerve cells so it doesn't "squish" the bowel for them to poop. Ds had a colostomy put in at 3 weeks old and we went through 4 months of hell with it but finally he went back in for surgery and everything was reconnected. He is now 18 months old, very big for his age, and all that remains are 2 scars on his belly.
So.....if you are all still with me.....this is the point of this story. I am due in May with our 2nd. My dh was so scared to have another as it was quite scary and traumatic to deal with everything ds had. Hirschsprung's might or might not be genetic so the chance of this baby having it are no higher than it was with our first. There is no history of this whatsoever in either of our families. I have always had the attitude that I wasn't going to worry about it......but I have started to worry about it a lot
The first four months of ds' life are such a blur....we missed out on a lot of the normal stuff due to trips to emergency, surgeon checkups etc. When we had our ultrasound, dh wanted to know what we were having so he knows but I don't. Boys do have a slightly higher percentage of the disease than girls do......so I have started really wanting a girl when really it never mattered to me. I feel like every day, I start my prayer with "Dear God, please don't let this baby have it" I am afraid to talk to dh about it because I know he is scared and if I tell him I am too, it will really freak him out. I know this is incredibly long but I guess it was just therapeutic to at least type it out. Thanks to everyone for reading.
For more information on Hirschsprung's Disease:
www.pullthrough.org/Hi...rungs.html
www.keepkidshealthy.co...rungs.html
Thank you to "icecheeks" for this story.
Surgery During Pregnancy & Premature Birth
This was my first pregnancy, up until 26 weeks I had normal pregnancy issues.
At 26 weeks, I was at work, and I started to feel a stitch in my side. I thought that maybe it was just the muscles stretching. As the night wore on, it got no better or worse, just a constant ache. Buy the time I had arrived home from work, this ache had been persistent for about 7 hours, irritating, but not painful. I thought if I lay down, and take the pressure off, it should go away. It didn’t! I phoned Health Link and talked to a nurse, who insisted that I go to the hospital and get them to check it out. I had honestly expected her to say take a Tylenol, and call you Dr. in the morning. She said, “Let them tell you if it’s nothing, don’t assume”. OK, so now I tell my husband I have to go to the hospital.
Well after getting there, they send me up to labor and delivery, to check that it’s not a problem with the baby. Baby’s fine, they send me back to Emergency, because now they now it’s a problem with me, not baby. As they start to do tests, I am asked to give a urine sample, and when I did that, discovered I had started bleeding! I was then admitted into the hospital. I was so afraid! I next morning, the Dr. came in to see what was going on, and left, saying she was going to get a second opinion. And hour later a surgeon came in, and informed me that they wanted to remove my appendix and that I would be scheduled for the next hour! He informed me that ‘normally’ they would do an ultra sound to confirm, but because I was 26 week pregnant, the location to check was blocked by the baby. I was told “It is better to take out a good one than leave in a bad one!” The risk of going under general anesthetic was 1% chance of waking up with no baby! Also that I had a 30% chance of going into pre-perm labor! I was NOT reassured by that, however what choice did I have?
I remember waking up in SO much pain that I thought I was waking up during surgery! I was only given general anesthetic, and nothing for pain (due to being pregnant) I wasn’t expecting that! I stayed in hospital for 3 days under observation, and then went home to recoup!
After already being through so much, I was expecting a simple, normal hospital birth. That is NOT what I got.
I was not due for another 6 weeks, and I was completely exhausted all the time. I was having a nap one afternoon, and woke up and realized I was damp. I ran to the bathroom and after sitting on the toilet realizes I was bleeding…a lot! My husband was home (thankfully), and he phoned 911. He wanted to drive me, I was too afraid to stand up! As I had been EXTREMLY hot out, I napped with no clothes on…my husband graciously brought me a t-shirt as we could hear sirens out side! Three uniformed men run in (how embarrassing)! Only to find out moments later, they were fire fighters (even more embarrassing)! The fire truck had made it to my place before the ambulance! Then the paramedics ran in. Again…embarrassed.
I was taken to 3 hospitals, as the first was closest, but didn’t ‘do’ preemies. The second one didn’t have a neonatologist present and decided I was better of going the a high-risk hospital. Admission was a nightmare (the woman was totally incompetent) and I was so frustrated from the previous events! I was admitted, though they weren’t sure it my water had broke, and I had no contraction. The following morning I started having mild contractions, progression was slow (I was not allowed to walk around as I was still bleeding) in the afternoon I was put on an patocin and given a tour of NICU (a bit of a shock), and by evening I had my epidural. Baby was born the next morning. Apart from ‘normal’ preemie issues my son was fine! He stayed in NICU for 3 long weeks and I was so happy to take him home! Breast-feeding never went well for us for many reasons, so unfortunately I ended up pumping instead, and did so for 6 months!
This experience was NOT what I had expected, but I am so glad the outcome was good. However must admit the thought of doing it again makes me nervous! I will also look at getting a doula for emotional support next time! I really could have used that!
Thank you for reading my pregnancy and birth story.
Thank you to Tina Perkins for sharing her story.
PLEASE NOTE: All information expressed on the WOMB website and in our workshops, sessions, and/or consultations is to be used for informational purposes only. We are not providing medical advice as we are not licensed medical professionals. Therefore, we cannot be held liable for unforseen outcomes.